


Property of Zayn

by Zarry_fvcks



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Adult Harry, Baby Zayn, Gen, I have no idea where this came from, Illnesses, Kid Fic, but i went with it, gemma is annoying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 17:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5594734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zarry_fvcks/pseuds/Zarry_fvcks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry didn't know that someone who spelled his name with 4 R's could affect his life so dearly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Property of Zayn

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first official kid fic!  
> I wrote this 2 years ago, and flushed it out when i was looking through my drafts  
> I didn't edit, revise, or change a thing (so excuse the crapé work)
> 
> WARNING: there is a very significant death in this, so please read at your own risk

Gemma pulled Harry out of work so he could go with her to her first day as an intern at their local children's hospital.

He was sitting in the waiting room, on twitter, when a little boy tapped his shoulder.

He looked up and saw a lad with a mop of raven hair and golden brown eyes.

He was in a medical suit, but he didn't look sick.

"Mr, do you wanna play with me?" He was full of smiles, but his voice was croaky and choked.

Harry didn't like sick people, he didn't want to be around them most of the time.

Harry put his phone back in his pocket, and gave all his attention to the young child.

"I'm Harry." He said.

"My name is Zayn." He giggled and grabbed Harry's hand.

He lead him to a tiny table stacked high with blocks.

"Why a-are you here, H-Harry?" The boy stuttered, and Harry's heart leaped for him.

"I'm waiting for my sister. She's gonna work here now." Harry was struggling to fit in the kiddy chair, so he just sat on the floor.

"Is she p-pretty?" Zayn said, and Harry thought he had a speech impediment.

"Yes, she's very pretty." A group of children passed him, running around and causing noise.

"Why don't you play with them?" Harry wasn't trying to dismiss the kid, he just didn't know how long he would be able to do this.

"They don't like me. They think my hair is funny and I look weird." Zayn pouted, making a building out of only red blocks.

"Well, that's not nice. How old are you?" Harry asked him, and Zayn gestured for Harry to help him.

"I'm 4 years o-old." He said, putting the last block on the tower, with Harry's help.

Harry was 20 himself, and he was surprised Zayn knew so much at such a young age.

"Well, you shouldn't let anyone bully you." Harry said, and Zayn made dinosaur sounds, destroying the entire thing. Harry laughed, he seemed to be having more fun than the kid himself.

"Are you gonna stay here? If you do, y-you can play with me more. And I won't be so sad." Zayn said, and with every word, Harry broke.

His mom always told him he wore his heart on his sleeve, and he didn't believe it until he felt such love for a child he hasn't even known for 30 minutes.

"Sorry Zayn, but I can't. I have work, and I go to school."

Zayn nodded, but Harry could see the sadness behind his smile.

"Where are you parents, Zayn?" Harry said, picking the blocks that the boy had dropped back on the table.

"I don't have parents. The old ladies here told me that all of them are my parents, but that's weird." He giggled.

_He didn't have parents? So who was paying for him to stay here?_

Millions of questions swarmed in Harry's mind, but he decided to just smile and give the boy a happy day.

 

After 5 hours of talking, eating, playing, and a quick checkup from a lady name Grace, it was time for Harry to go, since Gemma had finished her first day as an intern.

When he saw Gemma step out of the office, he got up and dusted his pants off.

"Hey, Zayn. My sister is right over there. Do you want to meet her?" Harry said, and Zayn nodded.

Harry bent to pick up the child, and walked to his sister.

"Hey, thanks for waiting." Gemma said, staring at the little boy.

"Hi, my name is Zayn. You're very pretty." The child smiled.

"Why thank you, cute little boy. My name is Gemma."

Harry put Zayn down, and oddly enough, didn't want to say goodbye.

"Zayn, um I have to go home now." Harry said, and Zayn's eyes started to water.

"You're leaving already?" Zayn frowned, and Harry slowly nodded his head.

Zayn's thin arms wrapped around Harry's calves, and Harry bent down to give him a proper hug.

When Harry turned around to leave, Zayn shouted for him.

"Harry! Can you please come back tomorrow?" Zayn said, holding a blue block in his hand.

Harry looked at the receptionist who was smiling at Zayn, then looked at Gemma whose eyes were wide.

He had work tomorrow, and he had a class in the morning.

His mum always told him not to make promises he couldn't keep.

He watched the raven haired boy again.

So he said he would show up tomorrow.

And he promised.

 

+

 

So Harry had a schedule. He worked Monday through Friday as a barista at Starbucks.

On the weekends he took English and publishing classes at his community college in the morning.

He asked his boss to change his hours so that he could work mornings, and visit Zayn the whole day after.

It left him only a little time for himself, but he realized that being with Zayn filled a space he was willing to spare.

First, he would only visit on Mondays.

Then only Mondays turned into Mondays and Wednesdays, then Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays, and soon enough he was visiting Zayn five days a week.

He got the receptionist to put his name on his contact list, after hours of begging.

  
_The reason why?_ Zayn didn't have anyone else on his contact list.

He became a regular, and the other visitors always gave him weird looks.

_Why is a young lad always here, tending to a child he didn't even know?_

He didn't know the answer either.

 

+

 

After 3 months of visiting Zayn, Harry decided to learn more about his sickness.

When Zayn was taken by Grace for his weekly shot, Harry waltzed over to the nurse, looking for answers.

"Harry!" Zayn screamed, but got quiet when Grace told him to sit still.

"How are you, Harold?" Grace said, and he smiled at her.

Harry looked back at Zayn, who was half asleep on the bed.

"What does Zayn have?"

Zayn was now completely knocked out, low snores coming out of him.

Grace sighed, putting some gauge on Zayn's arm.

"He has acute leukemia and a spinal cord disease called Myelopathy. He's been here since birth. The mother didn't want him, he was born out of wedlock. She came with him for a checkup one day and never came back." She sighed, and Harry felt his eyes tearing.

"She just abandoned her own child?! Who the fuck does that?" Harry was pulling at the roots of his curls, he was so upset.

"Calm down, sweetie. The only problem we have is that Zayn's liability ends in a week. After that, there is no coverage for his medication, chemo and surgeries.He doesn't have a registered donor, which is what usually happens with kids like him. We don't know what we're suppose to do with him after." She said, and sniffled.

Harry tried to think of something he could do, but came empty minded.

"When Zayn wakes up, can you tell him that I'll be back later? I can stay by his bedside if possible? I don't have work tomorrow." Harry pleaded, and Grace sighed.

"Just this once, okay? I can't always go breaking the rules for you." She said, and he rushed out of the hospital, checking maybe once or twice if his head was screwed on properly.

 

+

 

When Harry rushed into his flat, Gemma was in his kitchen.

"Why are you here?" Harry said, running into the kitchen to grab a knife.

"Nice to see you too." Gemma muttered, taking a spoonful of Nutella.

"That was suppose to be for Zayn." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Zayn? That sick kid you're always around now? I know you want to be nice to everyone, but he's gonna d-"

And Harry dared her, he dared her to say the word he'd been avoiding for months.

She put her hands up in defense, and walked into the living room.

Harry started to open up the floor boards, and Gemma tried to stop him.

"Woah! What are you doing?" She screamed, taking the knife from her crazy brother.

"Just shut up okay? Shut up! I'm trying to do what's right." Harry said, pulling the hinge out of the last one.

Gemma finally saw what he was doing, and her mouth formed an O.

Harry brushed off the dirty safe, and quickly put the code.

It opened out, and Harry grabbed half of the money in the stack.

"Damn Harry! How much is that?" Gemma said and Harry quickly counted the money.

5,432 pounds.

He closed the safe, and put it back in the ground.

"You wouldn't mind screwing the floorboards back, right?" Harry said to Gemma, and she just shook her head.

"You're crazy. Now tell me your not using all that money on Zayn!"

  
_Silence_.

"Harry, I'm sorry, but he's gonna die. He's gonna die! Have you seen him?!? He hasn't gone two days without throwing up blood! You're wasting your time." She huffed.

Harry knew he cried often, too often, and maybe that's why he would never have a lasting relationship.

This was another exception. He sat down after Gemma's little speech and started crying. He was sobbing by the time she started rubbing his back.

"The problem is that I have to help this kid. He has no one okay? I know I'm only 20 and I'm stupid but I know that I have to do this. So please stop judging and let me." He sniffled, and Gemma nodded.

But he knew she was right.

 

+

 

The same day, almost 4 hours later, Harry went into the hospital with a tiny envelope with a check in it. He had deposited the money into his account minutes earlier.

When the receptionist greeted him like she did every afternoon, he decided it was time to stop and talk to her.

"Hello, um. Can I have information on when payments are due for Zayn Malik? He has leukemia." Harry said, and the lady furiously tapped on her keyboard.

"1,000 is due for chemo beginning next week. 2,000 is due for his spine surgery in a month, and 500 is due for his pain pills." She said.

"Can I pay for that now?" Harry said, and the lady looked at him with wide eyes.

"Are you sure, sir? I mean, this child has been sick for a very long time and-"

"I'm sure." He cut her off, and she just nodded.

He handed her his check book and wrote it out to 3,500 pounds.

When she was close to dismissing him, and idea popped into his head.

"How old do you have to be to adopt a child?"

 

+

 

"You're crazy." Gemma spat, but still got into the car.

"You're insane. Adopt him? Really? You can't even take care of yourself!" Gemma said again.

Harry rolled his eyes, and made sure that Zayn was strapped in the backseat.

"So you're gonna go over the state and try to find his mother? Oh hello ma'am I want to adopt your son, sign the fucking papers." Gemma said.

"Bad word." Zayn muttered from the back of the car, and Harry smiled.

"Baby, listen to music on my phone okay?" Harry gestured to the phone and earbuds in his hand, and Zayn grabbed them eagerly, but not before whispering a _thank you._  


"Listen Gemma, this might sound crazy, but I have this longing, like I have to spend the rest of my life with this kid. If not me, he at least needs to be able to get adopted and the only way is to find the sick son of a bitch who gave birth to him." Harry said, and Gemma groaned.

"He's sick. Do you even have all his shit? And why the fuck would a hospital hand a basic teenager a child?!"

"I have his pills, I have his asthma pump, I have his oxygen tank if he needs it, I have his favorite toys, I know when he has to take his insulin and I know when he takes his usual naps, so have a little faith in me." Harry snapped, and Gemma sighed.

"Whatever."

Harry started the car, and began the 3 hours trip to this unknown lady's home.

 

+

 

Almost there, Zayn started crying uncontrollably.

Harry pulled over at a near by gas station, and went into the back seat.

Gemma was sound asleep, so Harry was left alone.

"Why are you crying, baby?" Harry cooed, and Zayn continued to cry louder.

"Does anything hurt?" Harry said, looking around Zayn's body for bruises, but was met with a scar that went from the bottom of his spine to the top.

He pulled the child's shirt back down, catching his breath while Zayn squirmed and cried louder.

"Can I have Danny?" He sniffled.

"Danny is the... Tiger right?" Harry said and Zayn nodded.

Harry quickly rummaged in the the tiny luggage he bought for Zayn and pulled out the dry cleaned tiger.

"Here you go, baby." Harry said, but instead, Zayn went into Harry's arms, and he stopped crying when Harry put his arms around him and rubbed circles into his back.

"I love you Daddy." Zayn said, and Harry started crying because he wasn't prepared for this and he should have known it would happen soon enough but he didn't expect it to be so soon.

 

+

 

Gemma wakes up to see a puffy eyed Harry parked in someone's driveway.

Zayn is in the backseat of the car, sound asleep, and his oxygen tank is being used, the tubes wrapped around his little torso.

"Harry, are you okay?" Gemma rubs her eyes, and he nods.

"He called me daddy today, but I didn't say anything back. I'm sorry, but i'm so confused now." He sniffled, and realized that maybe he was making a big deal out of nothing, that maybe it was just a sleep of mind, Zayn didn't mean to say it.

Gemma nods, because she understands, but she doesn't.

"Who's driveway is this?" She yawned.

"His mum. I found her. I just don't know what to say to her if I go to the doorbell." Harry said, and realized that maybe it was a mistake to be here.

Maybe he should just drop Zayn off at the hospital and pay his fees once in a while.

But the thought itself was so clogged up and choked he decided he need fresh air.

After getting all his tears out, he took the first few steps near the home, and rang the doorbell.

A tall man opened the door, and squinted at Harry.

"Hello, who are you?" The man said.

Harry cleared his throat, bracing himself for a lot of talking, then he heard Zayn's little voice.

"Daddy?" And fuck, it wasn't a mistake because he did it again and Harry couldn't ignore him because he was leaning against the car.

"Baby. Come over here." Harry gestured for Zayn to come over, and he slowly followed.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting sir, but is Trisha home? I was hoping I would get a few minutes with her." But the man wasn't paying attention to Harry, he was paying attention the little child clinging to his legs, who looked a lot like his wife.

"Um, how about you come in?"

And Harry did, making sure Zayn was still next to him.

He sat on an old looking couch, with Zayn on his lap, playing a numbers game on his phone.

Soon, a woman walked down the stairs and took a seat next to Harry.

"Do I know you?" Trisha said, and Harry wanted to curse her out so badly, but Zayn was here for fuck's sake.

"No, but you know Zayn. You know Zayn right? The son you abandoned almost 5 years ago." Harry said calmly, and Harry hoped that Zayn was too caught up in the game to pay attention.

Trisha was staring at Zayn, but still didn't say anything.

"Why are you here?" She said, picking at her nails.

"I-I want you to sign adoption papers. He has leukemia and has no one to pay for his meds. The least you can do is sign a few papers releasing the custody you have on him." Harry said again, and rocked Zayn when he started to close his eyes.

"How old are you? Like 18? Why are you bothering with this? Go live life. Stop thinking about this."

Harry didnt respond, he just pulled the papers out of his coat pocket and placed it on the table.

"I'll give you 200 pounds to sign it. That's it, just sign it and you don't have to see either of us again. And too bad for you, because you don't get to witness a child as wonderful as him." Harry said, pulling 2 hundred pound notes out of his wallet.

She smirked, took the money, and signed all 50 papers.

Harry snatched the papers, got up, but Zayn was pouting because he wanted to say goodbye to the lady.

"Maybe another time." Harry said, but he knew he was lying.

 

+

 

"Baby, c'mon. You have to." Harry groaned, trying to take Zayn back to the Children's Hospital.

Zayn was crying, screaming and kicking because he didn't want to go back.

"Please don't make me go back, daddy." He whimpered, rubbing his eyes and holding Danny. Harry still was shocked every time he called him that, but it was just one of this things he had to get used to.

"Baby. I'll visit you everyday, like I always do."

"I thought you were gonna take me home with you? You were talking to that lady about it." Zayn said, and Harry had really wished he hadn't heard.

"Listen baby. I would, gosh I would love to. But listen. This is a big responsibility and I'm only 16 more than you. It's seems like a lot, but it's not." Harry sighed, but Zayn wasn't hearing any of it.

"I'll be good! I p-promise ill be good. I can help you clean stuff and I won't make noise when you have to s-study for school. I promise I'll b-behave." Zayn begged, his face soaked with tears. Harry realized that Zayn only slurred his words when he was crying or nervous.

Harry bent down to kiss all Zayn's tears away, and then Zayn stopped crying because he loved when Harry did that.

"Listen, I'll uh see what I can do. But for now, just try to stay here, for a bit? Please, baby?" Harry said, and Zayn nodded.

Harry honestly didn't know what he going to do.

 

+

 

A week later, Harry was reciting a speech in his Publishing class when he got a call.

He had missed too much school, the call would have to wait.

But even as saying his speech, he had a burning feeling in the little place in his heart shouting at him that something was wrong.

When he finished, he asked his teacher to be excused.

He went to the loo, pulling out his phone and checking that his missed call was from Gemma.

He let out a breath of relief, his heart was thumping wildly in his chest.

He returned her call.

"Hey Gemma, sorry I did-"

"Harry? Oh god Harry something is terribly wrong with Zayn."

Even though Harry's breathing had gone back to normal just seconds ago, it started again.

He felt like his lungs were collapsing, and he couldn't form a coherent sentence.

"Harry?" Gemma called through the phone.

"Where are you now?" Harry said, even though he felt unwanted tears slip from his eyes.

"I'm at the hospital. He went into shock and was paralyzed and I don't know, now he's in the surgery room. They said they were gonna start his spine surgery early, and Grace told me to call you."

Thank god Harry paid for it early then.

"I-I'm in school. I can't leave now. Oh god." Why wasn't Harry with Zayn? He made a promise to himself that he would always be there for him. Now what?

"The surgery is 12 hours. And if this doesn't work, Harry he's not gonna mak-"

"Stop! I told you about saying shit like that!" Harry screamed, but it came out hoarse and tiny because of all the crying he was doing.

"I'm sorry Harry." And then she hung up.

It was like she was giving up.

 

+

 

Louis and Perrie had called his phone 54 times, in total.

Louis and Perrie were his friends from school, and I guess they got worried when he just up and left after lecture.

The first place he went was home, to get the adoption papers to bring to the hospital.

The hospital was the second place he went.

Even though he felt like just barging in, he gained his self control and walked into the hospital, asking anyone, everyone about Zayn.

The receptionist told him that he was in surgery, and Harry would sadly have to wait if he wanted to see him.

Harry nodded, although he just wanted to grab his baby and hug him forever, he didn't want to let go like everyone else had.

So he waited.

In one hour, he had went to buy Zayn's favorite snacks, so he would happy when he woke up.

With 4 hours, he sat with the lady in the adoption facility and showed her the papers.

He'd also brought all his medical history, ID, passport, anything that he thought he would need to give him responsibility of Zayn.

"Why do you think I should give you responsibility of this child?" She said.

Now, Harry had to think this answer.

"Miss. You know what they say about love. It's uncontrolled. The first day I stepped in the hospital, I only came for an internship for my sister. I didn't know I was going to meet a child as wonderful as Zayn. I get it, I'm only 20 and I don't know much but I really care about him. I love him how a father is suppose to love a child, even though I'm not his dad. I. I want to be. I want to be in his life every day and yes he has a sickness. And, and he may not live, but the days that he has should be spent wonderfully and I can do that for him. My sister, she's 23, and she knows way more about kids than I do. She can help me."

The lady was watching Harry, and she just shook her head.

Tears were starting to form in Harry's eyes, but he wasn't going to quit.

"I'm sorry but. You don't have the salary to take care of a child. This Zayn Malik is sick. He needs a constant, someone who is going to he by his side 24/7. You have a job, and you take classes. When are you going to be there for him?"

"Please. Please, I'll get a higher paying job. I've been taking editing classes and I'm done next month and went to interviews for publishing buildings all around this town. I'm what's best for him. Zayn loves me, I know he does. I knew the first time he called me daddy. Okay maybe he doesn't need me but I need him. I've changed a lot with him around, and for the better. Just, please. Give me a chance." Harry pleaded, eyes big and wide and green.

"Harry Styles, I'm giving you a month, if possible to show me that you are what this child needs." She put a large stamp of Zayn's adoption folder, and Harry could finally smile again.

 

+

 

When Harry went back downstairs to the surgery department, Zayn had 7 more hours until his operation was over.

Most of the time, Harry prayed. And it would be a long shot to say Harry was religious since he hasn't picked up a bible in years, but he hoped God could put it aside, it was a little boy's life on the line.

He prayed, he cried and he prayed  some more.

He also thought now was the best time to tell his parents about Zayn.

He dialed his mother up, and she picked up.

"Harry my boy! I haven't heard from ya in ages!" She squealed, and he didn't want to ruin her mood, but it was now or never.

So he told her. He told her that he met a boy named Zayn and that hes very very sick and he loves him and he can't breathe without thinking about him and he already signed adoption papers and even if she didn't approve, it was too late because what's done is done.

"Oh Harry, why didn't you tell me any of this? Where is he now?" She said.

"He's undergoing an operation for his spine." Harry sighed, and he hoped his baby was doing okay, and that he could hold on for 4 more hours.

"Oh, I'm sorry baby. Maybe one day I could stop by and see him. I have to tell your father. Anyways, how are you? Are you seeing anyone?" His mom said, and he blushed.

"Mom, it's not time for that. And no, I'm not." Harry said, and told his mom that he would call her later.

"Um, can I see the guardian of Zayn Malik?" A doctor with a surgical mask on said, and Harry wasn't sure if he was suppose to stand up or not, but he did anyway.

"Me sir." He walked up to the doctor, and told him that Zayn's last name was Styles.

"My mistake, Mr.Styles. I am just here to tell you that Zayn's operation is over, and it went swell. His spine is perfectly aligned now, but it will be hard for him to walk for about a week. He's going to be in a wheelchair when you take him home."

Take him home? Harry's heart was thumping, this was actually happening.

I guess his parents would have to come sooner than he thought.

 

+

 

Before Harry took Zayn out of the hospital, he got a long speech specifying his needs 24/7 from Grace. He thanked her, and she started crying because she was like a mother to him, and Harry said he would always come to visit.

Zayn was sound asleep, and Harry held him in his arms.

The boy was getting heavier, but Harry could handle it.

Gemma put his kid wheelchair in the trunk, and Harry asked her if she could drive so he could keep an eye on Zayn.

Harry went into the backseat with Zayn on his lap, and breathed a sigh of relief.

It had been 3 days since Zayn's operation, and Zayn barely spoke.

Every time he got excited, he would wince and calm down. It was heartbreaking, really.

Zayn turns 5 in July, and Gemma kept yapping about school and shit Harry didn't think about that. He didn't think about anything really.

He didn't clean the guest bedroom that was filled with his childhood junk, Zayn would just have to sleep with him for the time being.

When they got to his apartment, the first thing he did was put Zayn on his bed.

"Stay, daddy." Was the first thing Zayn said in days, and Harry almost cried because he thought he had lost his voice permanently.

So Harry laid next to him, and even though he had to call his parents, make sure the fridge was full, make sure he used his sick paid days, he managed to fall asleep.

 

+

 

Harry woke up to his name being called several times, well not his name but what he was as of now.

_Daddy._

There was a light sniffling, and Harry opened his eyes to see a crying Zayn, hugging himself.

Harry looked down, and saw a large wet stain.

"I-I'm sorry D-daddy. It was a m-mistake. I didn't m-mean to wet your b-bed." Zayn said, and he couldn't stop crying.

Harry carried Zayn off the bed, and he started whining because his back was hurting.

"It's okay baby. You didn't mean to. I'll clean you up. It's only, 9 pm. Don't worry." Harry tried to shush him, but it wasn't working.

"I was having a n-nightmare. They were c-chasing me. I didn't mean to p-pee." Zayn cried, and Harry desperately wanted to know what he was talking about.

"Baby, I said it was fine." Harry picked Zayn up by his wet bottom, who was whispering I'm sorry I'm sorry and stripped off all his clothes. He made a warm bath, and set him in there so his back was touching the wall.

"No more crying, hmm? That's for little boys, and you're a man. Okay? It was an accident. People make them all the time." Harry said, while Zayn stared down into the ocean of bubbly water.

"Okay." He whispered, and Harry hoped he wasn't going back to his silence.

When Harry finished washing Zayn's body, he grabbed pajamas from his small luggage bag and put it on him.

He also stripped his bed from the dirty sheets and put a new one on it.

"Are you hungry? I can make you some warm milk and cookies." Harry put Zayn in his wheelchair when they entered the living room, and he wheeled him to the two seating dining table.

He noticed that Gemma had cleared out the guest room completely, leaving the boxes in the far corner of his living room.

She even put Zayn's clothes in the small drawer Harry forgot he had.

All he really needed now was some decorations and a bed.

His doorbell rang and he cursed. He hoped it was anyone but Perrie and Louis.

Speak of the devils.

"It's party night bitches!" Louis screamed, and Harry shushed him because he didn't want Zayn to hear his dirty mouth.

"Daddy?" Zayn said, and Louis's eyes widened.

"Is a boy over? You dirty bastard." Louis growled, and Harry rolled his eyes because of course Louis would mistake a toddler's voice for a grown man's.

He involuntary let them inside, and they were quiet when they saw the waving child in a wheelchair, struggling to hold a glass of milk and cookies.

"Um, Harry. Did you get someone pregnant a long time ago and not tell us?"

Harry shook his head, Louis was so stupid.

"No, ugh. I adopted a child." He said, and it sounded extremely weird out loud.

"You adopted a... handicap child?" Perrie screamed, and Zayn looked up.

"I'm sorry. Baby, you wanna go to my room and watch cartoons?" Zayn nodded, and then he was wheeling himself out of the room.

"Listen, if you guys are still gonna talk you can't say that shit around him. Got it?" Harry ordered, and they nodded.

He had to go over Zayn's story a second time, and after he was worn out.

"Well, wow. We came to see if you were okay. You haven't been returning our calls." Louis nudged me, and Harry shot him a sympathetic smile.

"Sorry. I hope this doesn't mess up our relationship." Harry sighed.

"Of course not! But can I play with him for a little? He's so cute." Louis said, and Harry warned him about his back and he's fragile and not to under any circumstance take him out of the wheelchair.

It was just Harry and Perrie, and she kept inching closer to him.

"Look Per-"

But it was too late, because Perrie closed all the space and put her lips on his.

And Harry wanted to feel something, he really did. But all he felt was a twisting in his stomach, and not a good one.

So he pulled away.

And Perrie's eyes flashed a look of hurt, but he chose to ignore it.

"Does this have to do with Zayn? I mean, I can spend time with him too." She said, but Harry shook his head.

"I don't. Perrie, I don't like girls."

And Harry didn't think it was a big deal, thought it was quite obvious that every time Louis talked about a girl with a nice bum, Harry would pull out his phone and check twitter.

But Perrie made it a big deal. She got off the couch in a hurry.

"Louis!" She screamed, and Harry rolled his eyes because he had just warned them about screaming.

Louis came out of the room, holding Zayn in his arms, and Harry swore he told him to leave him in the wheelchair.

"What?" Louis said, but calmed down when he saw that everything was under control.

"I want to leave. Now." Perrie said, shooting daggers at Harry, who was just watching his feet.

"You're not gonna say bye to my new favorite child?" Louis cooed at Zayn, and Harry saw his cheeks get red.

Perrie rolled her eyes, and left the flat. Louis walked to Harry and passed him his child, but not before muttering apologizes.

Harry watched the door close with Zayn in his arms, who was starting to doze off.

 

+

 

"Look at them, so beautiful." Was the first thing Harry heard in the morning.

He opened his eyes, and was met with his mother and father.

He shifted in the bed, and saw Zayn's tiny body curled up beside him.

"Mum, dad? I thought you were coming tomorrow." Harry said.

"Well we were, but Gemma was just telling us how much of a mess this place was, and if that officer lady is coming this place has to be squeaky clean. You need to go out and buy kid friendly stuff, my boy." His dad said, and Harry nodded.

His parents watched in awe as Zayn brought his thumb to his lip, slowly sucking on it.

"He's a beautiful one." His mother commented, and Harry got out of bed, happy he actually went to sleep with pants on.

"Should we get started?" His mom commented.

"Well, he usually sleeps for one more hour, it's 8 am." Harry walked to his cabinet and made sure he had all of the right pills to give Zayn.

"Okay, are you going to leave him with us when you go shopping?"

But Harry didn't want to. A lot of effort had to be put in taking care of Zayn, he was a special kid.

What if something major happens and he's not there?

But Harry was just stressing over everything.

So before he got ready to go to the mall, he gave his mother the small journal of anything and everything that was Zayn. What pills he needed and when he needed to take them, what hours of the day did his oxygen tank need to be on him, what ointment to put on his new scar ( _"but ONLY AT 11,mum"_ ) and that it was alright if Zayn dozed off in the middle of talking, he did that often.

"Harry go. We can handle it." His mum said, and he nodded, putting his shoes and coat on.

"When he wakes up, can you tell him that I'll be back, and um. I love him? He tends to cry when I'm not around." Harry said, and his mum shooed him out of the flat.

 

+

 

The first place Harry went to Toys R Us. He thought it was the most appropriate place to get everything.

It took him 2 hours only to find a bed that would fit Zayn's needs, and he was exhausted after he bought tons of toys.

He had more than enough clothes for Zayn now, so he would get some later.

The truck with the bed and all the other stuff was following Harry back home.

When he finally did get home, he heard loud screaming.

He parked, and went upstairs to his flat.

Zayn was sitting in the tub, crying his eyes out, while Harry's mum scrubbed him.

"Mum." Harry said, and she looked up.

"He won't stop crying. I don't know what to do, but he dirtied himself with food this morning so I thought he needed a bath." She said.

Harry grabbed a towel from the stand and Zayn stopped crying.

"He doesn't like afternoon showers. I always give him a shower before he goes to sleep. I don't know why, but that's how it is." Harry said, and wrapped Zayn in the towel.

"Hey baby. It's okay, daddy is here." Harry said, and Zayn winced when he put him on the bed.

"Can you sit up?" Zayn nodded, and held onto the bed on his sides.

Harry pulled out a pair of pants and a shirt, then put them on Zayn.

He wheeled the wheelchair over to him and put Zayn in it.

"When did you learn so much about kids?" His mom said, and Harry shrugged.

Everyday he visited Zayn, he saw how the nurses took care of the kids and Gemma showed him how to take care of the kids in the extensive care unit.

The movers were putting the bed together in Zayn's room, and he noticed that the walls were painted  blue.

"That's my favorite color." Zayn giggled, which made Harry smile.

Harry tipped them when they exited the flat, and turned on the telly so Zayn could watch.

"Where's dad?" Harry asked.

"He went to pick up food a few seconds ago. He really wanted some Mexican food."

Harry crinkled his nose, he hated Mexican food.

He went into Zayn's new room and grunted in approval.

He started to put all the toys in the large chest, and opened the window.

He was expecting a call from Warners Publishing anytime soon, and he hoped he got the job, so he could work from home.

After making Zayn a sandwich, going over his ABC's and 123's, Harry decided to call Louis while his mum played games with Zayn.

He walked out of the apartment with his phone to his ear.

"Hey Lou."

"Harold. Nice to see you're still alive. Where is my new favorite thing?"

"Zayn isn't a thing, and he's with mum."

Harry continued to talk to Louis, until his phone started beeping. He was getting another call.

He told Louis to hold on a minute.

"Um, hello?" Harry said.

"How does 90,000 a year sound?"

And Harry started screaming. He didn't care that he sounded like an excited child, he had gotten his dream job and he could take care of Zayn with an excess amount of money.

 

+

 

Harry received his first assignment the day Zayn could finally abandon the wheelchair. They had went out to ice cream, and the office lady came and marked him with a fat check ( _she said she wouldn't take points off all the sharp objects in the kitchen, Harry could take care of that_ ).

The manuscript was very thick, and based on the letter he would be getting 1-2 assignments a week. When he finished, he could ask for more or just wait for the next one.

He didn't even have to go to the office, his paycheck was quick deposited and he could just send the assignment back to the headquarters.

He started reading the first one when Zayn was sleeping.

It was about 2 am, and Harry thought he would take a peek at it.

It was wonderful, more than that, and Harry felt excitement boiling in his blood.

He brought out his Mac and started writing the pros and cons.

  
_Excellent format, great hooks, needs to work on transitions, a little too unrealistic, some parts are blotchy and confusing_ , but other than that it was amazing.

The grade from a 1 to 10 was a 7, and it could be published if she found a better title and rearranged the first few chapters so they weren't so confusing.

After he had finished writing, his edits were about 4 pages long, and he hummed in happiness.

He decided he would print it out and send it to the Warner's Publishing Headquarters the next morning.

He kissed Zayn on his forehead and whispered a soft goodnight that he knew he wouldn't hear.

 

+

 

But it got worse.

Harry woke up a week after his first paycheck to Zayn, who was throwing up blood.

He panicked, and the first thing he did was dial the police.

He struggled to speak while his son was choking on his own vomit.

When he hung up the phone, Zayn's eyes were closed and he was taking slow puffs of breath.

The medics told him that they were on there way, so he hoped they came fast.

"Baby, it's okay. You'll be fine. Everything will be okay." Harry reassured him, but it seemed like he was trying to convince himself of it.

"This hurts." Zayn whined, pointing to his back and stomach, tears streaming down his face.

"I know, and the doctors are coming to make sure it stops, okay? You'll be fine. I love you baby."

"I love you too daddy." Zayn said, clutching his stomach, and it sounded more like a goodbye to Harry than it did affectionate.

 

+

 

Zayn died the next day.

The doctors didn't tell Harry until hours later, because he was crying his eyes out before anything happened, and honestly, this was the saddest death to tell.

When they did, Harry nodded, sat down with his head in his hands, and started shivering.

He was already crying, so the pain felt like nothing. He felt like nothing.

Tumors were growing everywhere in his body, he couldn't fight it. He wasn't strong enough.

So he sat there, in the emergency room for 2 more hours, releasing all the water in his body and feeling drained by the time he was done.

He couldn't go in there; he couldn't go in there and see his baby not breathing on that bed. He couldn't.

So he went home.

He went home and cried some more.

He cried in his room.

He cried in the kitchen.

He cried on Zayn's bed. He clutched Danny in his arms, feeling the dry material of the stuffed animal soak in his tears.

Louis came by the next day to a puffy eyed Harry on his bed.

"Harry, I'm sorry about what happened. Awfully sorry." Louis wiped a tear away from his own eye.

Harry just sniffled in response.

"You have to eat. I know you didn't yesterday or today." Louis begged, and Harry screamed at him to get out.

So Louis did.

 

+

 

Each week Harry got a new assignment, and each week he would grade harder.

He didn't mean to, it's was just the anger of losing someone he loved so much writing.

 

+

 

A month after Zayn had died, Harry planned a funeral and seeing the miniature coffin was just all too much for him.

Zayn's birth mother was there, wearing a bright pink dress and a black jacket. She winked at him during his eulogy, and after he was done he told her that she had some nerve, some fucking nerve coming into Zayn's life now that he wasn't there anymore.

She apologized and left.

 

+

 

It's been a year since Zayn's death, and there isn't one second of the day that his mind doesn't flash back to the younger boy, the way he could grab Harry's face and give him a kiss on the cheek before nap time. He missed it so much.

Harry reached up and touched his cheek; it felt like just yesterday.

Harry finishes packing the rest of the toys after avoiding it for a year, and drives over to the charity event.

His stubble is back again.

He brushes his fingers against it, remembering the time Zayn told him he looked like an old man with it.

He smiles, and it's an actually genuine smile. He hasn't smiled like that in months.

When he gets to the charity event, there is a lad with a whiff of blonde hair and blue eyes looking through boxes.

He smiles at Harry who is holding the box of toys, and Harry sees his braces.

He doesn't look any older than 19, Harry assumes.

"Hi, sorry but I'm a volunteer at this event but no one else showed up. I see you're here to bring toys. Thank you so much, these are going to homeless shelters." The boy says, and Harry nods.

He put the box down on the table, to see the blue eyed lad struggling.

"I can help you. I really don't have anything to do today." Harry muttered, lying through his teeth.

He told Louis he would hang out with him because they don't hang out anymore. He didn't know why he lied, he just thought the very not so handsome and not at all gorgeous lad needed help. Friendly help.

"That'd be wonderful, thanks." The boy  said, and gave Harry instructions on how to group boxes.

"Oh! My name is Niall by the way." He said, letting his hand come near Harry's face, and it was then that Harry noticed the LGBT tat on his wrist.

His stomach started doing twirls, because yes, this boy was gay, and no, he wasn't going to do anything about it.

He didn't want to shake Niall's hand, didn't want to feel the tingling sensation it would bring him. He didn't want to look into those beautiful ocean blue eyes and see the same thing he saw in Zayn. He didn't want to get close to someone just so they could be taken away from him.

Niall put his hand down, and a blush rose to his cheeks. He realized that maybe Harry wasn't a friendly person.

"We should get back to-"

"I'm gay! I mean, I'm Harry." He blushed, and put his head down in embarrassment.

He looked up just in time to see a blush on the other lad's face as well.

He knew he shouldn't have done that, maybe he should have walked away.

He kept hearing Zayn's sweet little voice in his head, telling him that it's okay.

He didn't want to listen, didn't want to return the smile Niall was giving him.

But that's the crazy thing about love.

It's uncontrollable.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
